whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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