My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
