I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
