Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
