the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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