Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
