I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
