On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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