I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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