Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
