Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
