D3 body, D1 cock
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
