I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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