you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
