i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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