I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
