Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
and she was petting her beer can
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
