lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
