I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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