im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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