Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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