If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
