32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
