We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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