Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
