That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
