So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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