as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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