She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize