My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize