I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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