Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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