Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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