Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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