I could make wine with my vomit
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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