If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
