Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
