names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
