So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
