you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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