absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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