My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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