you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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