i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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