Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
