The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I don't deserve a penis
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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