have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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