my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
