john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
