I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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