I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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