Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
