I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
