i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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