another moral hangover. fuck.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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