Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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