i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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