I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
