This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
