those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
