i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
