So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
