Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
