Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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