Its about making memories worth repressing
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
