i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
