Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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