some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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