I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
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