in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
it's like iHOP with fire
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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