I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Less talking, more tequila
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
